


beach life-in-death [2018]

by so_uh_yeah



Series: Self-indulgent Libunity fics [1]
Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: And talk, Drugs, Other, they just hang out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:40:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29645214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/so_uh_yeah/pseuds/so_uh_yeah
Summary: Ancap and Ancom have a conversation that started as a conversation between me and myself. The title is unrelated. I just think it's funny.
Relationships: Anarcho-Capitalist/Anarcho-Communist (Centricide), Libunity
Series: Self-indulgent Libunity fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2186697
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	beach life-in-death [2018]

**Author's Note:**

> this is self-indulgent as fuck, has references that i care about but probably won't mean anything to anyone else. i haven't written in a while and i only like to write things that are fun for me.

“I’ve been thinking.” Ancap started. He and Ancom were in Ancom’s room. Ancap was sitting on the floor while Ancom lied on qui’s stomach. Both were super fucking zooted.

“Mhm.” Qui responded.

“The hole in the ozone layer. I’m going to fuck it.”

“Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I’d get a forklift or whatever the forklifts that firemen use are called.”

“The ladder things?”

“Yeah those.”

“Sick.” 

Ancom thought for a few seconds, as if qui was pondering something immensely important. “Do you think Nazi has lice?”

“What do you mean?”

“I see him scratch his head sometimes. I think there’s lice in there.”

“He probably just has dandruff. I’ve seen his hair. It looks like BP has been in there. Like the Goddamn Gulf of Mexico.”

“I think I should take a bath after listening to that.”

“You wanna take a bath together?”

“Like a bubble bath.”

“I take milk baths.”

“Wouldn’t that make you smell like cheese.”

“I don’t think milk smells like cheese.”

“Like butter, then. You’d smell like butter. If you splashed around in there enough, you’d turn the water into butter. You could pour in some vinegar, turn it into buttermilk, marinade yourself like a piece of chicken.”

“Yeah yeah, commie. You’re taking the whole ‘eat the rich’ thing too far.” 

“Hmph.” Ancom rolled onto qui’s back and looked at the TV. “Blanche is an ancap.”

“Ancom, I really don’t get your deep understanding of  _ The Golden Girls  _ lore.” 

“It’s not that deep. I just… Do you ever feel old, Ancap? I feel really old sometimes. Like it’ll hit me, the whole being immortal thing.”

“I don’t think I have enough time to feel old.” Ancap shrugged. “Unlike you, I have to be productive.”

“I’m productive as fuck. Your shitty ideology is the reason why you don’t have enough time. You always have to do shit. If you like the protestant work ethic so much go make out with the Christian Conservative.” 

Ancap rolled his eyes. “Why do you like shitty sitcoms like this? I thought it would go against what you believe in.”

“I mean, yeah. I hate massed produced garbage. And don’t you fucking disrespect  _ The Golden Girls _ . I like bad things, like bad CGI. Like knowing that someone, a person, made something that bad. Like they made bad art and it’s taking up space, but I want them to make more bad art. I’ll still watch it.”

“I feel like we’ve had this conversation before. Or, I had a dream about it.”

“Déjà vu?”

“Presque vu.”

“T.S. Eliot.”

“Um. Uh. Fuck.”

“What?”

“I’m not good at word association like this.”

“That’s fine.”

Ancap took a phat fucking bong rip.

“You think we should drink the bong water?”

Ancap looked at quem incredulously. God that’s a big word. “You’re joking.”

“I’m joking. It was just a joke.”

Ancap frowned for a bit. “What time is it?”

“Like 3 a.m… Oh shit!” Ancom stood up and stumbled around before walking over to the window and pushing it open. 

“What are you doing?”

“There are stars outside.”

“There are stars every night?”

“Nah, they’re moving right now.”

“Fr?”

“Yeah.” Ancom sat in the window sill and Ancap joined quem, resting his arms on qui’s legs and his head on top of them. “I wanna live in the woods.”

“Yeah?”

“I’d lie on top of a hill that overlooks the entire forest and I’d look at the stars.” 

“We could do that now.”

Ancom nodded. “Yeah.”

Ancap crawled through the window and dropped into the grass. Ancom followed soon after him, landing in the grass with a thud. 

“So, where the hell are we going?” Ancom asked.

Ancap helped quem up. “Anywhere.” The two started walking. “We could go out west, we could drive until we got anywhere, stop on the side of the road and run around in a field somewhere.”

“You’re high, asshole.”

“We could hitchhike.”

“Yeah, that would be kinda sick.” The anarchists made it to the driveway and hopped into Ancap’s convertible. They didn’t start the car or anything, they just hung out. Ancom was sprawled out in the backseat while Ancap was in the front. The air was cool, but refreshing, the kind that would sting your lungs, like it would hurt to run in, but it was nice. 

Ancom exhaled, half-expecting qui’s breath to be visible, but it wasn’t cold enough for that. “Maybe we should turn on the radio.”

“No, you always listen to shitty music. I listened to it once and Spotify called me gay.”

“You should have pirated it.”

“Why would I do that? I’m the CEO of Spotify.”

“Whoa. I’m the democratically elected CEO of antifa.”

“That’s so hot, we should make out.”

“Thank you for being a friend, Ancap.”

“Yeah, I’m a pal and a confidant.”

“And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew. Well, you would see the biggest gift would be from me, and the card attached would say ‘thank you for being a friend.’”

Yes, that’s how I’m ending this fic.

**Author's Note:**

> there seems to be some confusion about this. centricide is my intellectual property, and mine alone. all of my headcanons are 100% legitimate, where as yours are all laughably fake. there is no room for interpretation whatsoever in Centricide. not even a little bit. to claim otherwise is heresy, and also in violation of my legal rights as an artist. i hope this clears things up. /c
> 
> lmao thanks for reading this. ;)


End file.
